Hey people. I have a lot to apologise for. Like not blogging for about a month. Not blogging about the AFS Gala Dinner. Not blogging about The All American Rejects live in Malaysia.
I just had no motivation at all. My exams, which are on-going now, even as I speak (or write) have this troubling ability to sap my energy and motivation, leaving me a shell after every paper.
With the apologies out of the way, it's time to focus on the point of this whole post. Another of life's little lessons.
Before I start, I would like to issue a disclaimer. Just because most of my past 5 posts were emo-ish posts, doesn't mean that I'm emo-ing a lot.
Just take a look at the time differences.
Now, where were we?
Oh yes.
Lesson for the day:
People aren't usually nice to you, unless they want something from you.
Right-ho.
Put another way, it means that people aren't randomly nice to people around them. It takes too much effort. Rather, they are nice to the people who will be interacting with them, whom they want something from, be it something material, a favour, company, a smile, or even just general good-will.
Everyone does it. I freely admit I do it.
Well, maybe not everyone. I have been fortunate enough to meet two or three people in my entire life who is nice to everyone around them, regardless of whether those people have anything to offer or not.
I treat people in general as best and as well as I can. Why? I want them to treat me well to. Who doesn't want people around them to treat them nicely?
And my observations of people around me generally bear my theory out.
A guy I know will go to fantastically great lengths to make the girl he likes happy. If you think you've ever gone the extra mile for someone you cherish, this guy puts you to shame.
Indubitably.
Which, by the way, means without a doubt.
No examples of what he did will be given, it is enough that I use his actions for my purposes without having to drag his identity into the whole thing as well.
The girl isn't really interested in him because she likes someone else. Nonetheless, because he is so nice to her, she treats him as a close friend.
It's sad, yes.
But it happens.
In this example, there are two parts I will present in more detail, viewed through the lens of today's lesson.
Part 1: He being really really nice to her.
This bit is obvious. HE LIKES HER. Thus, he wants her to treat him as someone special, who is more than a friend. He wants her to be happy, because seeing her happy makes him happy too.
Part 2: She being nice to him, despite not really being interested in him.
She feels obligated to be nice to him. Now, I may be a little unfair at this point, because she's one of those people who are nice to EVERYONE under the sun. But I think that she feels obligated to treat him a little more specially than her other friends. Which of course, is exactly what he wants.
Hence, the status quo is formed.
I admit I may be over generalizing a lot, but I didn't draw my conclusions from this one example alone. I drew my conclusion from watching the people around me. Reading books.
It may be a rather abstract thing, this conclusion. But it's something that I came up with as a general rule of how people behave. As always, there are exceptions, but if you pick examples out of your own experiences and think about them the way I did, I'm sure you would come to the same conclusions. Or at the very least something along the same lines.
signing off,
chuan yang
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Hey everyone, let me introduce you to my new best friend. This friend doesn't come with all the usual emotional baggage and so on and so forth, but gives you the support and encouragement you wished all your other friends gave you but never did. Especially in exams. Unlike normal ordinary friends, this friend never back stabs you, never makes snide remarks related to your looks, intelligence and sense of dressing, and never tries to be smarter than you.
Dear readers, I present to you.......Coffee.
Jokes aside, it cannot be denied that coffee fuels my daily life to a certain degree now. Everything, from my daily library mugging, the hyperactive jokes and the joker persona I usually wear in class in done more or less under the influence of caffeine.
It's not a good thing.
But it isn't totally bad either.
So how?
Drink less coffee? Certainly an option. I think I do drink too much coffee these days. No wait, scratch that. I know I drink too much coffee these days.
It's wreaking havoc with my financial affairs too.
Coffee, Nescafe, is priced at RM2 a can. I drank 4 cans today. 8 bucks. That's more than I spent for lunch.
On a side note, my recent post seems to have attracted some attention.
Sorry guys, the real deal isn't as devastatingly tragic as my post made it sound, I tweaked the wording to make it sound worse. But it is pretty bad. And umm, it's partially my fault too. The new friends bit, where I get jettisoned? It's just my overinflated sense of 'seeing tragedy in everything' talking. Although I do get ignored quite a bit. When other people are around. Not quite to the point of getting jettisoned though. And the part about the glowers? Partially my fault as well. Stupid thing.
So people, lesson number 1, when I'm writing under the influence of caffeine and emo-ness, try to tone down whatever I say. It never quite comes out right. I do tend to portray myself as being a victim, when I'm not totally innocent.
Take things with a pinch of salt yeah.
Having said that, there is a reason for the previous post, but I hope it will be cleared up soon. (Actually doesn't look like it, but ah well, hope springs eternal.) And I have been through some rough patches in life (the shunning part). So it isn't all over-dramatized either.
And thank you very much for all the concern. Really. It means a lot to me. Sorry being such an emo ass that I splashed all that over my blog for everyone to see, down to a friend in college who actually cared enough (or was kepoh enough) to ask what happened.
Why the hell am I being so bloody honest today?
signing off,
chuan yang
Dear readers, I present to you.......Coffee.
Jokes aside, it cannot be denied that coffee fuels my daily life to a certain degree now. Everything, from my daily library mugging, the hyperactive jokes and the joker persona I usually wear in class in done more or less under the influence of caffeine.
It's not a good thing.
But it isn't totally bad either.
So how?
Drink less coffee? Certainly an option. I think I do drink too much coffee these days. No wait, scratch that. I know I drink too much coffee these days.
It's wreaking havoc with my financial affairs too.
Coffee, Nescafe, is priced at RM2 a can. I drank 4 cans today. 8 bucks. That's more than I spent for lunch.
On a side note, my recent post seems to have attracted some attention.
Sorry guys, the real deal isn't as devastatingly tragic as my post made it sound, I tweaked the wording to make it sound worse. But it is pretty bad. And umm, it's partially my fault too. The new friends bit, where I get jettisoned? It's just my overinflated sense of 'seeing tragedy in everything' talking. Although I do get ignored quite a bit. When other people are around. Not quite to the point of getting jettisoned though. And the part about the glowers? Partially my fault as well. Stupid thing.
So people, lesson number 1, when I'm writing under the influence of caffeine and emo-ness, try to tone down whatever I say. It never quite comes out right. I do tend to portray myself as being a victim, when I'm not totally innocent.
Take things with a pinch of salt yeah.
Having said that, there is a reason for the previous post, but I hope it will be cleared up soon. (Actually doesn't look like it, but ah well, hope springs eternal.) And I have been through some rough patches in life (the shunning part). So it isn't all over-dramatized either.
And thank you very much for all the concern. Really. It means a lot to me. Sorry being such an emo ass that I splashed all that over my blog for everyone to see, down to a friend in college who actually cared enough (or was kepoh enough) to ask what happened.
Why the hell am I being so bloody honest today?
signing off,
chuan yang
If there's one thing life has taught me, it's that being nice to people doesn't always mean they would be nice to you.
Don't get me wrong. There are decent people out there who generally reciprocate when you're nice to them. But as always, there's a flip side.
In this case, the flip side involves people who, no matter how well you treat them, will generally try their hardest to be as mean as possible.
It has always been my doctrine to be as nice as possible to people, even if they aren't nice to me. I mean, don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you. Right?
Wrong. Partially at least.
Although, as mentioned earlier, there are people who do respond to simple niceties, most stop being nice to you after you get to know them better.
It doesn't happen to everyone. At least not that I can see. But it does happen. And mostly to people like yours truly.
I try. I do my best to be good to people. I do kutuk my friends sometimes, and I curse excessively on occasions, but I never maliciously malign people or shun them.
Never.
You know why? Because I know what it's like to be shunned. To be left out. To feel unimportant.
And it's something I would never want any of my friends to feel.
So I try to be nice to them. I joke with them. I open the door and hold it (for girls). I help out with errands. When anyone needs help, I never say no.
And guess what?
After a while, most people start to take it for granted. It is expected that I do their bidding, for I almost never say no. And when I do, I get this look. A look that plainly says, "How could you? I never expected it of you.".
Some of my more honest and closer friends tell me I'm too nice to people around me. They say things like "They are using you.". They tell me to stop. Don't keep saying yes. Be selfish sometimes.
And yes, I can. Never on purpose, you must understand. When circumstances don't permit me to help, I won't always go out of my way to help.
Case study.
Friend. I help with homework. Chores. When problems arise, I listen patiently. I try to give advice. Tell some stories. When everyone else leaves, I stay. I do this, and I do that.
Then suddenly, a new clique of friends spring up. I am deemed uncool and jettisoned.
All the niceties?
Thrown right out of the window, along with everything else.
And yet, I still try to be nice. I say "Hi". Smile. And get glowers in return.
Being the good cop sucks.
signing off,
chuan yang
Don't get me wrong. There are decent people out there who generally reciprocate when you're nice to them. But as always, there's a flip side.
In this case, the flip side involves people who, no matter how well you treat them, will generally try their hardest to be as mean as possible.
It has always been my doctrine to be as nice as possible to people, even if they aren't nice to me. I mean, don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you. Right?
Wrong. Partially at least.
Although, as mentioned earlier, there are people who do respond to simple niceties, most stop being nice to you after you get to know them better.
It doesn't happen to everyone. At least not that I can see. But it does happen. And mostly to people like yours truly.
I try. I do my best to be good to people. I do kutuk my friends sometimes, and I curse excessively on occasions, but I never maliciously malign people or shun them.
Never.
You know why? Because I know what it's like to be shunned. To be left out. To feel unimportant.
And it's something I would never want any of my friends to feel.
So I try to be nice to them. I joke with them. I open the door and hold it (for girls). I help out with errands. When anyone needs help, I never say no.
And guess what?
After a while, most people start to take it for granted. It is expected that I do their bidding, for I almost never say no. And when I do, I get this look. A look that plainly says, "How could you? I never expected it of you.".
Some of my more honest and closer friends tell me I'm too nice to people around me. They say things like "They are using you.". They tell me to stop. Don't keep saying yes. Be selfish sometimes.
And yes, I can. Never on purpose, you must understand. When circumstances don't permit me to help, I won't always go out of my way to help.
Case study.
Friend. I help with homework. Chores. When problems arise, I listen patiently. I try to give advice. Tell some stories. When everyone else leaves, I stay. I do this, and I do that.
Then suddenly, a new clique of friends spring up. I am deemed uncool and jettisoned.
All the niceties?
Thrown right out of the window, along with everything else.
And yet, I still try to be nice. I say "Hi". Smile. And get glowers in return.
Being the good cop sucks.
signing off,
chuan yang
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Tribute
This post shall not be an ordinary one. Oh no. I am going to write this post as a tribute to all ordinary bloggers and blogs out there, average Joes who, try as they might, can never seem to churn out world shaking, thought provoking, mind blowing blog posts. Instead, they blog about ordinary little things, like lunch, or friends, or college, things that may not be of interest to the rest of the world, but important to them nonetheless.
To all average Joe bloggers out there, in the blogosphere:-
I applaud you.
Truly, I do.
I am one of your kind. I blog about itsy bitsy things that, by rights, should have remained in the annals of uninteresting things that happened to me. I blog, shamelessly, about being bored. I blog about food. I blog when I'm pissed. I blog when I go on a trip. I blog about feelings, about friends, about philosophy. In essence, I blog about life.
We all do.
In our own little ordinary ways, we take happenings and events, small and big, and compress them into words, and put them up on the internet for everyone to see.
It is not easy.
Penning thoughts has never been easy, not for the most gifted of writers.
It needs courage.
Courage is needed for the ordinary person to stand up and say "I am ordinary! This is my life! Read it! It's boring, it's not much, but heck, I'm writing about it. I letting everyone read about it. Lo and behold! This is life."
We all write about life.
Life, big and small, interesting or boring, extraordinary or ordinary, is still life. It is important. Ordinary bloggers, just by the act of blogging, we are standing up to say "We are ordinary, but we are important!".
We are decent people.
Why are we ordinary? Unnoticed, easily forgotten? We don't attract undue attention. We don't deliberately insult people. We complain, yes, but not with malicious intent. There is a gulf of difference between deliberate malice and being disgruntled.
(This actually brings me rather neatly to another topic which I want to blog on, but more on that later.)
There is no shame in blogging about inane boring things. So, ordinary bloggers, I say to you, do what you do best. BLOG!
(Now, with that out of the way, I can move on to the other topic.)
Refer to http://eathishit.blogspot.com/ to read up on the background.
Dude, you really have to chill okay? Sit down, relax and have a nice cold beer. Now look around. At all the people you pissed off. What did they ever do to you? Blog about their lives? Blog about things you found boring?
Oh come on man. I'm sure you're better than that. Be a man! Do the right thing! Don't be so closed-minded. So what if you find blogs boring? Don't read them lah.
You really really need to take a step back and examine your priorities.
Writing a, well, frankly speaking, malicious blog isn't going to change anything. IF someone told you to eat shit just because they found your blog boring, would you change your blogging style? I doubt it.
Is this really so important to you? Mud-slinging is for the cavemen of past eras, not the modern civilized world you and I live in.
No hard feelings okay? Sorry about calling you a fag with reference to The Jonas Brothers in the previous post. That was in rather bad taste, I admit.
So yeah, I probably sound like I'm shitting rainbows or something, but I'm just trying to be rational okay?
Think about it man.
signing off,
chuan yang
To all average Joe bloggers out there, in the blogosphere:-
I applaud you.
Truly, I do.
I am one of your kind. I blog about itsy bitsy things that, by rights, should have remained in the annals of uninteresting things that happened to me. I blog, shamelessly, about being bored. I blog about food. I blog when I'm pissed. I blog when I go on a trip. I blog about feelings, about friends, about philosophy. In essence, I blog about life.
We all do.
In our own little ordinary ways, we take happenings and events, small and big, and compress them into words, and put them up on the internet for everyone to see.
It is not easy.
Penning thoughts has never been easy, not for the most gifted of writers.
It needs courage.
Courage is needed for the ordinary person to stand up and say "I am ordinary! This is my life! Read it! It's boring, it's not much, but heck, I'm writing about it. I letting everyone read about it. Lo and behold! This is life."
We all write about life.
Life, big and small, interesting or boring, extraordinary or ordinary, is still life. It is important. Ordinary bloggers, just by the act of blogging, we are standing up to say "We are ordinary, but we are important!".
We are decent people.
Why are we ordinary? Unnoticed, easily forgotten? We don't attract undue attention. We don't deliberately insult people. We complain, yes, but not with malicious intent. There is a gulf of difference between deliberate malice and being disgruntled.
(This actually brings me rather neatly to another topic which I want to blog on, but more on that later.)
There is no shame in blogging about inane boring things. So, ordinary bloggers, I say to you, do what you do best. BLOG!
(Now, with that out of the way, I can move on to the other topic.)
Refer to http://eathishit.blogspot.com/ to read up on the background.
Dude, you really have to chill okay? Sit down, relax and have a nice cold beer. Now look around. At all the people you pissed off. What did they ever do to you? Blog about their lives? Blog about things you found boring?
Oh come on man. I'm sure you're better than that. Be a man! Do the right thing! Don't be so closed-minded. So what if you find blogs boring? Don't read them lah.
You really really need to take a step back and examine your priorities.
Writing a, well, frankly speaking, malicious blog isn't going to change anything. IF someone told you to eat shit just because they found your blog boring, would you change your blogging style? I doubt it.
Is this really so important to you? Mud-slinging is for the cavemen of past eras, not the modern civilized world you and I live in.
No hard feelings okay? Sorry about calling you a fag with reference to The Jonas Brothers in the previous post. That was in rather bad taste, I admit.
So yeah, I probably sound like I'm shitting rainbows or something, but I'm just trying to be rational okay?
Think about it man.
signing off,
chuan yang
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Look, this is what happens when I get bored and a DSLR is sitting nearby.
Sleeping time.
signing off,
chuan yang
Sleeping time.
signing off,
chuan yang
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
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